The Qoheleth, (Hb. for preacher) of the  book of Ecclesiastes, gives the following wisdom statement, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die.”

Our first grandchild, baby boy Asher, is due to arrive next month. Meshell and I could not be more excited to celebrate with the whole family and to have the privilege and blessing to help train up the next generation in the way of the Lord. Two weeks ago, my 88 year old father suffered a severe stroke that has left him incapacitated and childlike. We are living in the midst of the convergence of two seasons, the time to be born and the time to die.

I had the privilege to spend several days with my father in the ICU and in his current skilled nursing facility. I spent several days and one overnight in his ICU hospital room. Lord, how do I pray? Is there anything unsaid I need to say? What scriptures should I read to dad? Mom had always prayed Psalm 1 and Psalm 23 for dad. I had many other thoughts and prayers sitting there and experiencing sacred time with my dad and the Lord. I was reminded of that beautiful Psalm 116:15, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.”

Sometime in the night I was led to read to dad, Paul’s jubilant first chapter to the Philippians. I landed on the victorious words of Phil. 1:21, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” I pondered those words as I watched my father’s physical body holding onto life with his mental faculties completely absent and unaware that I was right there with him. So, I added a little to Paul’s words to make sense of the moment and the process:

“To live is Christ, and to die is gain, but the dying process is often difficult and confusing and is a test of faith to finish well.”

I do think Paul would agree with my temporary addition to his holy writ, especially when he himself was suffering many persecutions and ultimately his most likely beheading in Rome.   

The main reason I spent the night in the ICU with my dad, was that the nurses asked me to because the two previous nights he was extremely restless and agitated. I had the privilege to talk and meet with many ICU nurses and doctors. These are amazing people with an amazing gift. But on that night God provided a unique nurse. His name was Noah and he was a pastor’s kid from Nigeria. He carried a sense of calm, care and confidence that I did not witness in any of the others. He first surprised me when he without looking up from the computer in my dad’s room, said, “So, you are a pastor?” I try to keep that quiet as long as possible in most conversations. I asked him who told him, and how did he know? He said, “He just knew it.” To which I said, “You must be a prophet.” After which we both began to laugh. He told me his wonderful testimony and how he met the Lord. He hummed gospel songs as he gently cared for my father. He carried the presence of the Holy Spirit and a bold confidence. He looked right at me and said, “He will have a peaceful night’s sleep.” And he did! I asked him why he was a nurse. He told me in the most caring gentle words, that it is because of the love of God for all people, and that is what drives him. Oh, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints!” He sent an angel named Noah to care for my dad’s dying body. Funny, I never saw Noah again – Hebrews 13:2?

There is an important context to Phil 1:21, that is often overlooked. Paul and Timothy saw themselves as bondservants of Jesus Christ. (1:1) They were writing to the saints in Christ Jesus.  Clarity on identity is necessary for confidence heading into death, and to have a healthy life and death perspective. And this is what Paul means by his encouragement in Phil. 1:6, “I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” If we don’t know who we are and Who’s we are, confidence is eroded. It takes faith to live for Christ, and to die as gain. It is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hb. 11:1) Saving faith is a gift, but needs to be nurtured and tested. Sometimes by fire.

In Phil. 1:12-13, Paul says what has happened to him in his imprisonment has served to advance the Gospel, and he goes on to say that because of his presence in jail in Rome that the Gospel has advanced and Paul’s imprisonment had served as a stimulus to increase the boldness of the brothers and sisters in sharing the truth. I wondered, was I having that affect by my several days in the ICU with Dad?

In Phil. 1:15-18, in times of trial like dealing with old age and death and imprisonment Paul didn’t let people’s words or motives impact his soul or mission. He stayed the course and focused on living for Christ.

Back to Phil. 1:20-21, “as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body whether by life or by death – for to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” What does it look like to honor Christ with our dying body, with our death? The world cannot say with joy, “to die is gain.” Unless it just sees dying as an escape of a living hell situation without any hope for everlasting life or hope to heal the darkness of separation from knowing God personally and intimately.

As the process of death drags on, it is for the love of the saints and care givers to let God’s love shine – boy, do I need that forming. It is an emotional roller coaster, the back and forth between desiring for dad to recover and have conversation with him and my desire for the Lord to mercifully and peacefully take him into His presence. This is the place of waiting faith where it possibly becomes more about what God is doing in me and others than in dad.

As I was reclining next to dad, it really hit me how I am only 26 years away myself from 88, if I even make it that far.  Now, if you are 17 years old that seems like an eternity, but if you are 62 it doesn’t. Time does speed up, even if it is just perspective. Just like watching the sun set over the horizon, you can actually see the sun fall. But the sun rise and midday sun seems to move so much slower. I don’t mean this to be morbid at all, but hopefully encouraging and convicting. If we are going to see death as gain, we have to learn to live for Christ now.

I heard an amazing perspective recently on aging. It is astonishing how much basketball can be played in the last 60 secs of a basketball game! Oh, so true! No matter what quarter or half you are in, start learning today the glorious truth of, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” And take full advantage of the sacred time with dying loved ones, remembering, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” (Psalm 116:15)