Is anyone hungry for civil, respectful and honest dialogue? Is anyone thirsty for engaging conversation that gets past personal and politicized biases? Is anyone longing for a wisdom that transcends human opinion and has the power to unify in the midst of so much diversity?

We are in desperate need today for wisdom in how to engage in discourse around theology, philosophy and politics. These three things should never be separated or compartmentalized in our lives, education or public policy. They work best as they are integrated together rather than separate silos of thinking communities.

So, where do we start in addressing this behemoth problem? As Christ followers it is important to realize that we are first and foremost responsible before God to cultivate loving and healthy discourse within the Church family and home. It is fascinating that throughout the whole Bible God’s eyes are primarily on the house of God. Especially in the Revelation of Jesus Christ we see Jesus’ eyes primarily on the status of His Church not on the political status of any nation. (Revelation 1-3 ESV) We do well to heed this reality as we approach the issue of public discourse. However, it appears that over millennia the Church seems to keep mixing up these biblical priorities. We are constantly making the mistake of criticizing culture on the outside before properly reforming and cultivating healthy culture on the inside of the Church and inside our homes. If we are able to reverse this trend then possibly we can be more faithful in being that “city set on a hill” and “the salt of the earth” and “the light of the world.” (Matthew 5:13-16 ESV) But as it stands, I fear that Paul’s assessment of us today would be no different than it was to the Corinthians when he stated, “But, I brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh…For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?” (1 Cor. 3:1, 3 ESV) The issue Paul was addressing within the community was that they were circling up around different “super-teachers” rather than around Christ alone. This was dividing the body and putting an emphasis on human wisdom and “super- personalities” rather than on the Spirit and wisdom of God.

Here are 8 principles for healthy discourse that hopefully can help give us greater 20/20 vision heading into a New Year and new decade.

1.) Seek wisdom from above. The promise of God found in James 1:5 states, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” In our ever-increasing therapeutic culture we need to learn to filter our opinions and feelings through the Word and wisdom of God. We need to heed 1 Corinthians 3:19, “For the wisdom of this world is folly with God.” In our secular age, the lines between the wisdom of the world and the wisdom of God are blurred, even within the Church.

2.) Learn to listen. The admonition within James 1:19-20 couldn’t be more applicable for our angry culture within and without the Church. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

3.) Pray for all leaders. We need to give more than just lip service to our prayers for public figures. If we are truly praying for all our leaders, especially those we dislike and disagree with, it will change the way we talk about them and the whole tone of our conversation. Paul states in 1 Timothy 2:1-2, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”

4.) Engage in moral issues. We need to be careful to stay away from a strict separation of Church and State that compartmentalizes politics from theology and philosophy. It is impossible to separate morality and politics or religion and politics completely. Moral issues always have political ramifications and political issues always have moral ramifications.

5.) Don’t confuse the Kingdom of God and the world. We need to be careful to stay away from an unhealthy integration of Church and State, which confuses the role of the Gospel and the Kingdom of God with the kingdom of this world. In John 17, we are to be in the world, but not of it. And in Matt. 22:19-22, we are to “render to Caesar the things that are Caesars and to God the things that are God’s.”

6.) Know the other side. We should watch and monitor what is feeding our biases and intentionally get outside our camp to learn what the other side thinks and believes. We can start accomplishing this by broadening our media feeds and reading lists.

7.) Make friends with the other side.  Pursuing friendships with people who are in different camps and belief systems will help us in our understanding and communication. This obviously for the Christian is built into evangelism and sharing our faith with those who do not believe in Jesus.

8.) Establish an ultimate filter.  Matthew 6:33 could be an ultimate filter for believers. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Our political views and biases are all connected to what we think will provide the best human flourishing. We get into trouble when worldly issues and agendas take greater precedent than our Kingdom mandates.

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The solution to this dilemma will not occur at the national level, though we desperately need leadership from all parties that can unite rather than divide. The solution will come from the local community level when individual believers and churches model communication restoration. At the core of the Gospel is the idea of relational reconciliation between God and man through Jesus Christ. When human hearts are reconciled to God’s heart they are in a place to be able to restore healthy communication with one another.

Ephesians 4:15 states, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” Communication breakdown is a symptom of a greater problem – a love breakdown. Which comes first, a love breakdown or a communication breakdown? It is hard to say since they are so intimately connected. This breakdown starts to occur when we lose our solid footing on the faith foundation of the Gospel itself. “Speaking the truth in love” to each other and “not letting the sun go down on our anger” are essential for healthy communication. When they stop happening some people can become unapproachable and others hold onto things. Both of these work together to bring about disunity within the Body. What is needed is communication restoration. First, we must get our footing back onto the Gospel and what it says about us and release any offense we have perceived from others. Secondly, we must move forward with a listening ear to restore healthy and honest communication with those we feel we are out of step with.

Ephesians 4:29 states, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear.” The old saying, “God gave us two ears and only one mouth for a reason” stands obviously true. We should spend a lot more time listening than speaking. This is especially hard for a preacher! The truth of this command is only possible when we are established upon the firm foundation of the Gospel. It makes us “aware” of how we are communicating. The tone, the feel and motive are all critical. Is our communication, even when it is hard, seasoned with grace? Are we mainly consumed with how we can best build up others or is there a subtle angle in our communication to somehow make us feel better?

The essence of spiritual maturity is healthy communication with God and others. May we experience a revival when it comes to our communication and may it overflow into our communities and the nation.

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God has a sense of humor. How do I know? Because it seems like every time I carelessly use the words “always” or “never” I end up eating my words. I told my grandmother for years I would “never” drink coffee. She put a twenty-dollar bill in her journal that I would. I am a coffee fanatic today. I said I would “never” move back to Houston after college. My first job out of college was in downtown Houston. I said early on I would “never” be a public speaker especially a preacher. Oops. I said I would never get drunk? Oh how the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I could go on and on about many other “never” statements where I had to eat my words and I am sure you can too.

It is interesting that we are so much quicker to say “You never…” or “You always…” rather than “I never…” or “I always…” Also, we are much quicker saying, “I never…” rather than “I always…” To prove my point, try and remember the number times you have said “I never…” versus “I always…” All of this reveals that there is something much deeper going on and that our use of “always” and “never” reveal a lot about our theology and relationship with God. We need to develop a healthy “always” and “never” theology.

“Always” make sure that our “always” and “never” statements are founded on God’s truth.

“Never” say “always” or “never” statements from just our mind, will or emotions.

These two theological statements will bring blessing into your life and relationships and keep you from a lot of hurt. It is one thing to say, “I will never drink coffee,” and eat my words. It is a whole other thing to say, “I will always love you” and to break my vow. Or a man saying to his children, “I will always love and be committed to your mother,” only to break that vow. It is a prideful and misleading statement if not based on God’s truth – which says that no man can keep his vow to his wife without faith in Christ to empower him to love her like Christ loved the church. (Eph 5:25) Peter found out the hard way when he spoke up to Jesus about him going to the cross, “This shall never happen to you.” (Matt 16:22) Jesus rebuked Peter, “For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” (Matt 16:23)

Language is important. Jesus is called “the Word.” (John 1:1) The scriptures say over and over again that our words are important for they reveal what is in our heart. And Jesus says that we will have to give an account of every word that we speak. (Matt 12:36). The amazing thing is that God desires to have intimate fellowship with us and a large part of our spiritual growth is having the Holy Spirit transform our language so that it is seasoned with grace. Ultimately, only God has the ability to truly stand behind “Always” and “Never” statements:

Jesus said, “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matt 28:20)

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” (John 6:35)

So, never use always or never from your own mind, emotion or will and always use always and never in relation to God’s truth and promises.

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